Singular problems with plurals

Okay, listen up--there will be a quiz later.

The English language contains words stolen from all over the world, reflecting the history of the language and the countries upon whom it was forced. Among these are words of Latin and Greek origin.

I'm willing to accept that the deplorable state of education means schools both in the US and abroad are turning out graduates with appalling levels of ignorance. However, that doesn't excuse aspiring writers who desire to have a future as professionals. And if I have to see or hear someone say that "television is a media..." I may get violent.

Medium used as a noun is singular. Television is a communications medium. Media is the plural form: television, newspapers and magazines are all news media.

Then we have criteria, another word people persist in using incorrectly. "Being a writer is a criteria for membership."

No, being a member is a criterion for membership--singular.

You cannot have a bacteria. You may have a bacterium, and when it starts propagating itself then you will have bacteria but not a moment before.

Do surgeons perform surgery without instruments? Do gardeners tend the lawn without tools? Then why is it people will decide they're going to be writers but can't manage to acquire those basic tools of the profession: a dictionary, a thesaurus, a stylebook and a book on common usage errors?

I recently took part in a discussion on the editing, or lack thereof, that is apparent in far too many published books. There was a time when the established industry was comfortable sneering at the burgeoning independent ebook industry for its lack of editorial quality. They no longer have any room to talk.

Yet there is still a segment of the wannabe-a-writer contingent that seems to think they don't have to clean up their work, that some helpful editor somewhere will tend to their errors of grammar, punctuation and usage once they get that manuscript sold. It apparently doesn't register that no editor is going to look past the first three errors to find the gold buried therein.

What's particularly problematic is that some of these people are skilled and experienced experts in other fields. Is it possible they expect the acquiring editor to do what their secretary has done all these years--make them look good?

Ain't happening, people. No matter how great a writer you are, how fantastic your book is, if it looks like forty pages of bad grammar it won't get through my door. Not just because it suggests a lack of skill in the basic tools of the writing trade but because it suggests that I'm so desperate for something to publish I'll do anything to lay hands on it.

I'm not. And I won't.

Comma Here: Part One

(NOTE: The following was originally published in the monthly newsletter of SPAWN, the Small Publishers, Artists, and Writers Network.)

You wouldn’t think so much turmoil could be caused by such a little thing—a mere squiggle. Yet the furor that can arise over commas makes that squiggle seem like the most powerful punctuation mark in the universe.

The Chicago Manual of Style devotes 15 pages to the many uses for the comma in its 14th Edition, so we aren’t going to be doing a comprehensive tutorial here. Instead, we’ll address a couple of issues that have come up recently and see if we can’t clarify them. If anyone has specific questions I’ll be happy to address them.

To begin, I’m going to discuss a subject that has arisen in the last few years, fostered, I gather, by academic linguists with too much time on their hands. According to this theory, the comma when used in prose should be thought of the same way it is in music and poetry--as a “pause.” So, it is said, one should punctuate one’s sentences according to the way they’re supposed to sound rather than simply follow a lot of arbitrary rules.

This has led to some writers demanding that commas be left out because they “interrupt the flow of the language.” And they can be extremely belligerent about it. However, taken to excess this can amount to micromanaging the reader, something they tend to resent. An analogy would be the writer who wants to italicize all the words he or she thinks should be stressed instead of letting that stress flow naturally in the reader’s mind.

It’s true that some of the rules governing comma use are flexible. It’s also true that those of us who have always been sticklers for correct punctuation can feel very uncomfortable not using that comma before “too” when it’s used as “also” or to set off interjections at the beginning of a sentence (Suddenly, John heard a scream.) However, as long as omitting that squiggle doesn’t confuse the reader, there’s no harm in allowing the author his/her way. Be prepared to fight, though, if you’re the editor, because the writer doesn’t always see the problem. And if you’re the writer, keep in mind that just because you understand it doesn’t mean everyone else will.

Another issue that arises more often these days as publishing crosses international boundaries is the differences between UK style and US.

In US style, the comma, like other punctuation, goes inside the quotation marks in quotes or dialogue:

“I can’t see the forest,” she whined.

In UK style, the comma--and all other punctuation--goes on the outside:

‘I can’t smell the cookies’, he complained. (Yes, our friends over the pond also reverse quotation mark usage.)

If you’re writing for a UK-based audience, you can save the editor trouble by following the UK rules, and it really isn’t that difficult. Use the Find/Replace function in your word-processor. Search for [,” ] (Don’t forget to include the space after the quotation mark) and replace it with [’. ]. Do the same for other punctuation marks while you’re at it. You’ll still need to go through and fix a few spots but that will take care of most of them.

One of the best online resources for basic questions of style can be found at Purdue University’s Online Writing Lab: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/. Another comprehensive resource is offered by Capital Community College in Hartford, CT: http://cctc2.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm

However, there’s no substitute for having a good, comprehensive style reference. I use both the Chicago Manual and the less pricey Merriam-Webster Manual for Writers and Editors. Although both are geared more toward nonfiction, they at least give you the rules, which you can then play with for fiction so long as the prose communicates with the reader. There is also the Plain & Simple series of style books, which are available on Amazon and in the major bookstores--I’ve gotten tons of use out of my copy of the one on commas, if only to win arguments.